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Ego is the Enemy, by Ryan Holiday
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The instant Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and international bestseller
“While the history books are filled with tales of obsessive visionary geniuses who remade the world in their image with sheer, almost irrational force, I’ve found that history is also made by individuals who fought their egos at every turn, who eschewed the spotlight, and who put their higher goals above their desire for recognition.” —from the prologue
Many of us insist the main impediment to a full, successful life is the outside world. In fact, the most common enemy lies within: our ego. Early in our careers, it impedes learning and the cultivation of talent. With success, it can blind us to our faults and sow future problems. In failure, it magnifies each blow and makes recovery more difficult. At every stage, ego holds us back.
Ego Is the Enemy draws on a vast array of stories and examples, from literature to philosophy to history. We meet fascinating figures such as George Marshall, Jackie Robinson, Katharine Graham, Bill Belichick, and Eleanor Roosevelt, who all reached the highest levels of power and success by conquering their own egos. Their strategies and tactics can be ours as well.
In an era that glorifies social media, reality TV, and other forms of shameless self-promotion, the battle against ego must be fought on many fronts. Armed with the lessons in this book, as Holiday writes, “you will be less invested in the story you tell about your own specialness, and as a result, you will be liberated to accomplish the world-changing work you’ve set out to achieve.”
- Sales Rank: #1488442 in Books
- Published on: 1644
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 7.13" h x 1.02" w x 5.43" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
Review
“Ryan Holiday is one of his generation’s finest thinkers, and this book is his best yet.”
—Steven Pressfield, author of the New York Times bestseller The War of Art
“The comedian Bill Hicks said the world was tainted with fevered egos. In Ego Is The Enemy, Ryan Holiday writes us all a prescription: humility. This book is packed with stories and quotes that will help you get out of your own way. Whether you’re starting out or starting over, you’ll find something to steal here.”
—Austin Kleon, author of the New York Times bestseller Steal Like An Artist
"This is a book I want every athlete, aspiring leader, entrepreneur, thinker and doer to read. Ryan Holiday is one of the most promising young writers of his generation."
—George Raveling, Hall of Fame Basketball coach, Nike’s Director of International Basketball
"I see the toxic vanity of ego at play every day and it never ceases to amaze me how often it wrecks promising creative endeavors. Read this book before it wrecks you or the projects and people you love. Consider it as urgently as you do a proper workout regimen and eating right. Ryan’s insights are priceless."
—Marc Ecko, founder of Ecko Unltd and Complex
"I don't have many rules in life, but one I never break is: If Ryan Holiday writes a book, I read it as soon as I can get my hands on it."
—Brian Koppelman, screenwriter and director, Rounders, Ocean’s Thirteen and Billions
“In his new book Ryan Holiday attacks the greatest obstacle to mastery and true success in life—our insatiable ego. In an inspiring yet practical way, he teaches us how to manage and tame this beast within us so that we can focus on what really matters—producing the best work possible.”
—Robert Greene, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Mastery
“We’re often told that to achieve success, we need confidence. With refreshing candor, Ryan Holiday challenges that assumption, highlighting how we can earn confidence by pursuing something bigger than our own success.”
—Adam Grant, author of the New York Times bestsellers Originals and Give and Take
“Once again Ryan Holiday has laid down the gauntlet for readers willing to challenge themselves with the tough questions of our time. Every reader will find truths that are pertinent to each of our lives. Ego can be the enemy if we are unarmed with the cautionary insights of history, scripture, and philosophy. As was said to St. Augustine more than a thousand years ago, 'pick it up and read'; for to not do so is to allow the enemy to bring despair.”
—Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of HLN’s “Dr. Drew On Call” and “Love Line”
"In this day in age where everyone seeks instant gratification, the idea of success is skewed - many believing the road to their goals is a linear path. As a former professional athlete I can tell you that the road is anything but linear. In fact it is one that consists of twists, turns, and ups and downs—it requires you to put your head down and put in the work. Ryan Holiday hits the nail on the head with this book, reminding us that the real success is in the journey and learning process. I only wish I had this gem as a reference during my playing days.”
—Lori Lindsey, former U.S. Women’s National Team soccer player
“Philosophy has gotten a bad rap, but Ryan Holiday is restoring it to its rightful place in our lives. This book—packed with unforgettable stories, strategies, and lessons—is perfect for anyone who strives to do and accomplish. It's no exaggeration to say that, after finishing it, you'll never open your laptop and sit down to work the same way again.”
—Jimmy Soni, former managing editor of Huffington Post and author of Rome's Last Citizen
“I would like to rip out every page and use them as wallpaper so I could be reminded constantly of the humility and work it takes to truly succeed. In the margins of my copy, I have scrawled the same message over and over—'pre-Gold.' Reading this inspiring book brought back me back to the humility and work ethic it took to win the Olympics.”
—Chandra Crawford, Olympic Gold Medalist
"What a valuable book for those in positions of authority! It has made me a better judge."
—The Honorable Frederic Block, United States District Judge and author of Disrobed
“It's rare that I finish a book then immediately reread it, this time with a yellow marker in hand…I can't recommend this book highly enough.”
—Kevin Rose, entrepreneur and technology investor
"Forget yourself and focus on the work. Be humble and persistent. Value discipline and results, not passion and confidence. Be lesser, do more. This message is crucial, but the opposite of almost every other book. I wish everyone would read this. I need to re-read it each year. It's that important."
—Derek Sivers, author of Anything You Want
"In an age when self-promotion and celebrity are glorified to the hilt and 'hero' gets overused, Ryan Holiday's book is a reminder that the biggest impediment to achievement is often ourselves. Holiday retells stories of the famous and not so famous that will both inspire you and stop you in your tracks. This is a book to savor by reading it in increments so the power of the examples sinks in, leaving time for healthy reflection. If the rat race of modern life has you feeling burned out, Ego is the Enemy just might help you view philosophy as anything but a relic of the ancient Greeks."
—Edith Chapin, executive editor at NPR News
About the Author
RYAN HOLIDAY is a bestselling author and media strategist. He dropped out of college at nineteen to apprentice under Robert Greene, author of The 48 Laws of Power, and later served as the director of marketing for American Apparel. His company, Brass Check, has advised clients like Google, TASER, and Complex, as well as many prominent bestselling authors. Holiday has written several other books, including The Obstacle Is the Way, which has been translated into twenty languages and has a cult following among NFL coaches, world-class athletes, TV personalities, political leaders, and others around the world. He lives on a small ranch outside Austin, Texas. Visit www.RyanHoliday.net.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
It’s wrecked the career of promising young geniuses.
It’s evaporated great fortunes and run companies into the ground.
It’s made adversity unbearable and turned struggle into shame.
It derails ambition, turns success into poison, and makes failure the most bitter taste of all.
Its name? Ego.
Ego is the enemy—of what you want to achieve, of what you have, and what you’re struggling to overcome.
It’s an internal opponent warned against by every great philosopher, in our most lasting stories and countless works of art, in every culture, in every age.
In the pages of this book, we fight to destroy it before it destroys us.
Most helpful customer reviews
47 of 51 people found the following review helpful.
A modern work of practical philosophy
By Camden Gaspar
If ego is nothing more than a Freudian concept to you, then you may not have any idea how it’s holding you back right now. But don’t think that author Ryan Holiday aims to bore us with the same stale pop-psychology tropes that most books on the Self-Help shelf use to fill out their pages. What the author has provided us is actually a great work of modern practical philosophy.
Those familiar with Holiday’s last book, “The Obstacle is the Way,” will know exactly what practical philosophy means. Eschewing the commonly held view that philosophy is the province of academics in classrooms bloviating about abstract concepts, Holiday follows the Stoic tradition that puts philosophy firmly in the realm of everyday life. It’s about learning to deal with destructive emotions, unpredictable circumstances, self-interested people, and yes, ego, without succumbing to them. It’s philosophy as a way of achieving a better life.
In “Ego is the Enemy,” Holiday moves beyond the clinical definitions of ego and places the concept firmly in the realm of the practical. To be sure, the clinical and the practical in this case have some common ground. Modern psychologists define the ego as a critical part of identity construction, and further, an egotist as someone excessively focused on himself. Holiday defines ego along those lines: “an unhealthy belief in our own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered ambition…It’s when the notion of ourselves and the world grows so inflated that it begins to distort the reality that surrounds us.”
The idea that becoming untethered from reality is the primary symptom of an ego out of control is the thread that unites all three sections of this book. Holiday expands this idea throughout the three sections that form a continuum - Aspire, Success, and Failure - to show how this form of ego plagues everyone from the ambitious and striving, to the wildly successful and those who have been crushed by personal and professional defeat. In our own lives, we are always somewhere on that circle of aspiration, success and failure.
To this end, Holiday goes right to the sources of practical wisdom: the primary sources of great practical wisdom – Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Aristotle, and Martial to name a few - and the biographies of those who apply that wisdom to great effect or ignore it at their own peril.
This is where Holiday’s other key influence, strategist and author Robert Greene, becomes apparent. Like Greene, all of Holiday’s chapters start out with a short, pithy title sets the direction of the advice contained within the chapter. From there, Holiday mines the stories of great men and women who have either applied the advice laid out in the chapter title or ignored it and shows us the consequences of both.
For example, in the chapter titled, “Restrain Yourself” in the Aspire section of the book, Holiday launches right into the story of Jackie Robinson. As the first black player in the newly integrated MLB, Robinson faced discrimination and outright abuse at the hands of everyone from his own teammates and opponents, to hotel managers and restaurant owners and, of course, the press. At any point, Robinson could have lashed out, fighting back to defend his dignity against the injustices he faced.
But Robinson knew that if he fought back even once, it would end his MLB career and set the prospect of full integration of the league back for a generation. As Holiday writes, “Jackie’s path called for him to put aside both his ego and in some respects his basic sense of fairness and rights as a human being.”
Now, it’s likely that few of us will face the kind of treatment Robinson did, but the lesson here is that when we have ambitions and goals, we’re likely to run into the kind of people that Robinson did. The kind who react to your striving with cold indifference. The kind who aim to weaken your will with taunts and jeers. The kind who will go out of their way to sabotage you and undo all your efforts.
Holiday concludes here that ego tells us to snap back at these people and demand the respect we think we deserve. But that won’t earn it from anyone. We must ignore this impulse, no matter how badly we’re treated, and continue to work on our craft and ourselves. We must forget what we think the world owes us and focus on building our base, developing our skills and continuing to learn.
The rest of the chapters follow this same model, and plumb the depths of modern and ancient history to show us how those who put their egos aside achieve great things. Think of New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick spending years doing unpaid grunt work and film study before finally getting a chance to put his knowledge into practice. Think of the great conqueror Genghis Khan seeking greater knowledge and expertise from those he defeated, rather than forcing them into silent subservience.
Yet, others turn themselves into cautionary tales. Howard Hughes was a mechanical genius who inherited a successful family business, and then squandered all of it through a lack of focus, entitlement and paranoia. John DeLorean had a great vision for an automobile company, but never built the solid foundation of leadership skills he would need to run a successful company.
Holiday gives us a healthy dose of both kinds of stories, and that’s what makes the advice in this book stick with us. Ultimately, practical philosophy is meant to be used in our daily lives, away from the safety of our reading chair. Holiday’s aphoristic style of advice, bolstered by memorable stories is what gives us the tools we need to remember this wisdom when our egos start to take control of us.
Holiday positions the three states of our lives – Aspire, Success and Failure – as being a never ending continuum. We must put our egos aside as we aspire to our goals, aside when we achieve them, and aside again when we flame out and have to start over. At each stage, ego threatens to knock us off the continuum altogether and lock us into an unproductive state of stasis.
Taming your ego is never easy, but it is essential when we are confronted by failure or bolstered by success, as we all will be in our lives. Ego can easily let both conditions become debilitating: With success, we think we can stop being humble and working hard. In failure, we can become paralyzed, blaming others for our rotten luck and ignoring the fact that it’s on us to right the ship.
Ego is always encroaching on us, even after we think we’ve beaten it back. As Daniele Bolelli puts it, a floor doesn’t stay clean because you’ve swept it once; you must sweep again and again. With this short, accessible book, Holiday gives us the tools we need to do just that.
178 of 200 people found the following review helpful.
Downgrading the Ego While Lifting Up the Self-Respect
By M. JEFFREY MCMAHON
As I was reading Ryan Holiday’s quotation-rich book Ego Is the Enemy, I began to realize one cannot simple tear down one’s ego. Such a process is actually twofold: The ego diminishes, and the self-respect flourishes. One event can’t occur without the other.
This is a spiritual dynamic albeit a secular and philosophical one in the hands of Ryan Holiday. He wants to “remind” us with “moral stories” to be our better selves, “our better impulses.”
A humanist, Holiday believes we can, as Aristotle said, smooth out the warped wood that is human nature. To smooth the wood, we must confront and defuse our ego. He defines the ego as “an unhealthy belief in your own importance.” He elaborates: “It’s that petulant child inside every person, the one that chooses getting his or her way over anything or anyone else. The need to be better than, more than, recognized for, far past any reasonable utility—that’s ego.” This ego “distorts reality,” and in fact disconnects us from reality (funny, as I read this book I thought of Walter White from Breaking Bad).
This taming of the ego, however, cannot be performed in a vacuum. We must at the same time, Holiday reminds us, find a purpose and find our dignity and self-respect. Purpose, meaning, dignity, self-respect, and endless curiosity are the antidotes to ego.
One of the most salient lessons I learned is that nurturing the ego is a form of death or as Holiday, quoting Robert Greene, refers to as “dead time.” In one of my favorite passages, we read: “According to Greene, there are two types of time in our lives: dead time, when people are passive and waiting, and alive time, when people are learning and acting and utilizing every second.” To be entrapped in our ego, is to recoil from the world around us, to retreat into solipsism, and to chain ourselves to “dead time.”
Another danger of ego is that it makes us fear the embarrassment of failure and ultimately makes us cowards. Holiday quotes Seneca: “He who fears death will never do anything worthy of a living man.”
All of us suffer from our ego, which raises its ugly head either brazenly or insidiously. It’s good to remind ourselves often of our ego’s dangers to others and ourselves. Holiday has written an entertaining, compelling, and helpful remedy for our ego’s woes. Highly recommended.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Everyone Should Read This
By Matthew Morine
This is one of the most needed books today. Everyone has an ego, and those who do not believe this truth, are the most blinded themselves. This was a great read, the stories are excellent, the wisdom is true, and the book helps to navigate an ego inflating world. "Now more than ever, our culture fans the flames of ego. It’s never been easier to talk, to puff ourselves up (4)". This is a book that everyone young person should read. It will inspire you to focus on substance, and not on image. We need more people of real character, and not more people trying to make a name for themselves. "Impressing people is utterly different from being truly impressive." The book talks about staying the student, still working hard, and realizing actions should be motivated through true motives. Too often we hid away from feedback, because we cannot admit we are wrong. We protect ourselves, but really behind these actions is an ego. We create static positions for ourselves. The author writes "It is impossible to learn that which one thinks one already knows,” Epictetus says. You can’t learn if you think you already know. You will not find the answers if you’re too conceited and self-assured to ask the questions. You cannot get better if you’re convinced you are the best." I really like some of the characters from history that the author talked about. One was General Sherman, and his approach to fame. Other men who were successful during this time, demanded power, but it seemed that Sherman was happy to serve, and be content with this truth. The book talks about the need to help others. Imagine if for every person you met, you thought of some way to help them, something you could do for them? And you looked at it in a way that entirely benefited them and not you. The cumulative effect this would have over time would be profound: You’d learn a great deal by solving diverse problems. You’d develop a reputation for being indispensable. You’d have countless new relationships. You’d have an enormous bank of favors to call upon down the road." Instead people sometimes write and work to help themselves, to create advantages for themselves, but this approach is more concerned with YOUR needs, and not those around you. Help others, and others will help you perhaps. Ego is probably one of the most destructive forces in the world today. Too many of fallen to its sweet song of pain. Great book to read.
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